Gone - Guilty Crown (Tsutsugami Gai x reader)

WARNING *cough*major*cough* spoilers... I wouldn't suggest reading BEFORE you've watched Guilty Crown, but if you like spoilers or have already watched/read it then don't say I didn't warn you (because that's totally not what this is here for..)
Now, you may continue~
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Looking, bewildered, as everyone's expression had become crestfallen. I hadn't understood what was going on. All I had asked was a simple question, yet, no one seemed to want to answer. Or was it, they couldn't?

Bitterly, Ayase rolled up to me, her eyes filled with fresh, unshed tears she was too stubborn to let fall. I was about to ask again, but she held up her hand, effectively silencing me. Clearly she did not want to answer, to explain the memory none of the undertakers wanted to relive, but I didn't like not knowing and would persist until I got an answer. I knew. She knew. They ALL knew.

"(F/n)." She called, her voice cracking under the anguish she felt inside. She avoided my eyes, silently collecting her thoughts and took a deep breath before trying again. "I-" she bit her lip and shook her head.

Now I wasn't too dense to not understand what that meant, I simply refused to believe it and perhaps, I always did. My own (e/c) eyes, similar to hers, burned with tears. I lifted my head, watching everyone as they averted their gaze elsewhere, expressions filled with remorse. By this alone, I was aware of the tension created and I refused to show anymore weakness, I left behind a near muted, 'thanks' then rushed out with what dignity I had left.

Taking this chance to think things over, I realized I didn't want to bring down their mood more and I sure as hell refused to get any damned sympathy. So I left. I wasn't sure how it  happened or why it had to happen again, but I was sure that this was a huge weight on the hearts of all the undertakers. Try as I might, denial is out of the question because the fact is;

Gai is dead and he's not coming back.